Nothings Right Anymore
by liz88zil
Summary: Ryan's gone. So is Seth. Marissa feels hopelessly lost, and Summer has nobody to turn to. How will things change for the four friends who were once so close? (updated!)
1. Ryan

Chapter One – REALLY SHORT, but don't freak out or anything, I'm giving you the second one too. Geez, you people and your demands. I'm only writing a third chapter if I get some goshdarn reviews!

Ryan rolled over in his sleep. He put his arm around the girl sleeping next to him. Wait, something wasn't right. Her body was wider, her skin smelled differently. He opened his eyes, her hair wasn't right, it was much too dark, and it didn't smell like vanilla, more like...like....well, he didn't know, but it wasn't right. That's when he remembered, it was Theresa, it wasn't Marissa anymore. No, this wasn't right at all.


	2. Marissa

This chapter is longer, the first one was just to suck you in. Please PLEASE review!!

Chapter 2

Marissa sat on the lounge chair beside her new, gigantic pool. She was flipping through a Cosmo, but she wasn't even looking at it. She gazed emptily at the ocean horizon. She had been gazing emptily for a long time now. Her eyes had become intensely bloodshot from the constant tears. But, she wasn't going to cry anymore. Part of her just didn't want to anymore, and another part of her new that there were no tears left. Ryan was gone. She and Summer hadn't spoken since the day of her mom's wedding. Not because they were no longer friends, but there was very little to say. They used to laugh, and have ridiculous conversations, but they were both forced to grow up that summer. They had both lost the first love of their life, and did not know when or if they would return.

Just then Julie walked out towards her daughter and sat in the chair next to her. Marissa looked away as her mother tried to make eye contact, but not before Julie got a glimpse of her daughter's bloodshot eyes.

"Beautiful day isn't it Marissa?"

"Just like every other day in Newport Beach" Marissa replied emotionless.

Julie swallowed nervously, "I suppose so." Julie looked out to the horizon to see what Marissa was staring at, but found nothing. "Sweetie, Cal and I may go out to lunch, would you like to join us? Caitlin is coming too."

Marissa let out the closest thing to a laugh that she had in days, "No mom, I would not like to go."

"Marissa, I'm worried about you. You don't eat much anymore, you're eyes are bloodshot, you are always by yourself? I just can't figure it out." Julie looked at her daughter and gasped, "Oh my God, are you doing drugs? I swear Marissa the last thing I need right now is for you-"

"I'm not doing drugs Mom," Marissa replied finally looking her mother in the eye.

"Then what is it? I mean you've been like this for a month now! Ever since I got married!" Julie was quiet for a moment. Then, she opened her eyes wide and realized. "Marissa, didn't Ryan leave the day after my wedding?"

Marissa was silent

"Marissa! Is that what this is about? I knew the whole time that Ryan was trouble. He isn't high society, he doesn't belong here! Didn't I say from the very beginning that he was only going to hurt you?" Julie glared at her daughter.

Marissa shook her head slowly and silently got up off her chair and walked inside without saying a word to her mother.


	3. Seth

So, if you've read my other fics, you may have realized that this one isn't as funny or action packed as my other long one. I'm just trying this style out because it's how I'm feeling. REVIEW

Chapter 3

The sharp waves crashed against Summer Breeze as it pushed through the water. Seth Cohen sat on her ledge, letting the murmur of the water and the soft sounds of Death Cab ring in his head.

_I had to go. I'm sorry, but I had to leave Newport. I still care for you. _

Those words played had been playing over and over again in Seth's head for the past month. Seth took off his headphones, "Why didn't I even tell her that I love her?" He shook his head in disgust for himself. "I mean, 'I care for you?' What the hell is that? I mean, I care about linens, I care about good health, but I love Summer." Seth looked to Captain Oats for an answer, but no answer came. "I should have told her that I still want her. I should have told her that I wouldn't have left if I thought that she wouldn't be ok. But she has Marissa!" Seth put his head in his hands. He began to torture himself with ideas of what Summer was doing right now. Images of her before they got together began to flash in his head. He saw her in her orange bikini hitting on Ryan, he saw her getting wasted at the sophomore prom and making out with Josh McClane, who wasn't even her date. He saw her winking at cute guys from across the room, silently inviting them to come talk to her, come flirt with her, come touch her. Seth turned his ipod up louder, hoping that blaring the Killers in his ears would erase those scarring images. No such luck. Seth saw Summer at the wedding. In her beautiful pink dress, he remembered how concerned she looked as she kneeled beside him to comfort him. Seth saw her reading the letter, tears welling in her eyes. He wanted to hold her so badly. This whole trip was the wrong decision. It wasn't helping him deal with Ryan, who he thought about during the 2 percent of the time when he wasn't thinking of Summer. Over this month of solidarity Seth had realized that the cost of living in high class Newport society was paid off by Summer, but by going on this trip, he would inevidibly have to return to Newport, and he would probably have lost Summer as well.


	4. Summer

Now, if you're a really sharp reader, you may have picked up a pattern about the chapters. This is the last loner chapter before some inevitable reuniting. REVIEW PLEASE

Chapter 4

Summer scanned the horizon, hoping and wishing to see a tiny speck coming towards her. When it came closer she would recognize the tiny catamaran with her name printed on the side. She would see him waving obnoxiously at her, and she would roll her eyes and smile. Suddenly, somebody hit her elbow, and she was brought out of her daydream. Holly stood carrying a fruit smoothie and a double fudge balboa bar. "Summer, I can't believe you asked for this," Holly remarked handing her the ice cream, "It's like double the amount of calories you should have in a day!"

Summer stared at Holly blankly as she took a huge bite out of the ice cream.

Holly cleared her throat, "Fine, whatever."

The girls walked along silently for a few minutes before Holly said, "So listen, Tim O'Conell is throwing this hugeass party on Friday. He said its gonna be the last huge thing before school starts. You have to be there. It will totally get your rep up before school starts. Besides, hot guys, free booze, I wouldn't miss it if I were you."

Summer didn't answer for a minute, "Um, yeah, maybe. I don't know though, I mean, I'm pretty busy."

"Summer, you are not busy! You don't do anything during the day anymore, and you're CLEARLY not busy working out. Come on, you've totally let your rep die over the last year, when you still hung out with Marissa after Mexico, a lot of people thought you were weird. Then, you befriended that kid that burned down the house, and then more kids thought you had gone crazy, then, your biggest social mistake, you actually dated that whatshisface loser! Then everybody just lost respect for you! This party could be an unrevealing of the old Summer, the real Summer."

Summer turned away from Holly as she mentioned Cohen. She wiped back the single tear that fell down her face, careful not to let Holly see it. Then she took one more glance into the ocean, praying to see him. When she didn't, she turned back to Holly, "Your absolutely right Holly, what was I thinking. I mean, Cohen?? Ew. Tell me more about this party." With that Summer threw the remaining part of her ice cream in the trash.


	5. The real Summer

Now, I have yet to receive any reviews. This pleases me not. But, I do have to cut you some slack, because I've posted all of these chapters in one night. Nevertheless, review now, or die. Well, I can't really say that...that's an empty threat. But REVIEW PLEASE!!

Chapter Five

Summer sifted through her closet and in the very back, she found what she was looking for. She found all of her low rising tops, and her minis, and every other piece of clothing that she hadn't worn for a year now. As she pulled out a pile and tried some clothes on, Holly's words rang through her head, "It will be an unrevealing of the old Summer, the real Summer." She looked herself over in the mirror, her short flippy mini seemed shorter than it had before. She realized how low her shirt actually went, she dabbed on some makeup. She tried to ignore the fact that she felt the least like herself than she ever had in her life. Summer shook her head, and unbuttoned another button on her shirt and walked out the door.

She didn't even have to ask which house was Tim's because from the street she saw five guys chugging a keg, three couples making out, two girls crying, about 50 people grinding to music in the garage, and a fight breaking out amongst a group of guys. Summer rolled her eyes as she screeched to a halt. "Stop rolling your eyes," she told herself in the car, "This is your life now." As she hopped out of her car, she heard a couple of guys shouting out to her. Some guy who was about to fight called, "Break me off a piece of that!" One of the guys who was chugging, hit another guy on the shoulder and whispered, "Mother may I?!" His friend let out a low whistle as Summer walked by, he turned to the rest of the group and said, "Somebody get that girl a drink, she'll be easier drunk." His friends laughed and slapped him on the back. A year ago, Summer would have taken that as a compliment and winked at the guys, but now she just blushed and avoided eye contact.

As Summer entered the crowded garage, Holly staggered over to her and hugged her. "Summer, you made it!" Holly slurred, clearly wasted. From the dance floor, Tim yelled to Holly, "Get your ass back here skank!" Holly giggled, "Well, I'd better get back to Jim! I'll see you later Summer." Tim eyed Summer from head to toe, "you know, you're welcome to join us dancing if you've want. Neither of us have a problem with threesomes." Summer forced out a smile but shook her head.

Summer swallowed hard, and tried to pretend like this is where she wanted to be. She entered the house, just to find more people drinking, and more people making out. She looked around, thinking about what Holly had said today. Was this her life now? Her other life was certainly destroyed, but did that mean that she had to come back to this?

Then, a guy slowly approached her, "Hey, I'm Dan. You're Summer right?"

Summer smiled, "Yeah, how'd you know?"

Dan slowly smiled back at her, "Well I've heard that its not a party until Summer Roberts gets here and that you are really hot, so I knew it most be you."

Summer's smile slowly faded, "oh, who'd you hear that from?"

"Oh I can't really remember, but a bunch of guys in the locker room had said that you could really blow their minds, so now, I just wanna see if its true. But I haven't really seen you around at parties lately, I heard that you had a serious boyfriend, but then some guys said that wasn't true, because....well...you know."

Summer glared at Dan, "No Dan, I'm sorry, but I don't know. Refresh my memory."

Dan smirked, "Well, because nobody comes to Summer Roberts for a serious relationship! I mean come on, you're a legend!"

Summer nodded slowly, "Well Dan, I don't know exactly how many beers you've had tonight, but it must surpass 10 because you'd have to be really hammered to consider that a pick up line." Summer stormed off angrily.

Dan yelled from the background, "Fine bitch, suit yourself!"

Summer got into her car and she couldn't help the tears from falling from her eyes. This was reputation that she was trying to maintain? She had become a slut, but it was all just rumors. She had only been with one guy in her life, and even if she was ready to move on, she didn't want to do it with these guys. Summer wiped her eyes, she didn't want to go home, her dad was on a business trip, so only her step-mom was home. She pulled out of the drive way, and tried to remember where Marissa's new house was.


	6. What could've happened

Hey guys, thanks for all the reviews!!! Seriously, I read them, and it made me wanna write more!! Keep it up!!

Chapter 5

Ryan rolled out of bed and pulled on a pair of dirty jeans. He pulled on a wife beater and headed to the kitchen. He glanced at the newspaper as he reached into the fridge. He sighed, "another beautiful day, 75 and sunny." Ever since he'd left Newport, he just never appreciated the good days anymore. In Newport, he was allowed to enjoy the nice days. Ryan then began to think about Newport. In a way, his going to the Cohen's was a worse punishment than Trey's. Now that knew how amazing life really could be, he had to spend the rest of his life longing for how things once were. At least Trey could look forward to getting out of jail, but Ryan's life was his jail now, nowhere to go, no possibilities. Ryan reached into his back pocket and pulled out two tattered pictures. One was the Christmas card with the Cohens, and the other was a picture of Marissa and himself. Anna had taken the picture of them at the carnival. He loved the picture, he was kissing Marissa on the cheek, and she was laughing and looking right at the camera. Ryan stared at Marissa for a few minutes. She gazed back at him, never stopped smiling.

Ryan carried these pictures everywhere. It made him feel like he was a little closer to home. He needed to talk to her. He wanted her to know that he was thinking of her always. He quickly pulled his cell phone out of his pocket and dialed the familiar number. It rang once, Ryan's heart was pounding, what was he going to say? It rang again, Ryan was nervous, and he was nervous that he was nervous.

"Ryan?" Theresa called from the hallway.

Ryan jumped as he heard his name, and closed the phone quickly. He sighed deeply and went to see what Theresa needed.


	7. rock bottom

Guys, LOVING the reviews. Thanks!

Chapter 7

Marissa lay on her bed starring at her ceiling fan. The fan hypnotized her, the constant circling drew her in, predictable, calming. Her mom's words rang in her head. "He isn't high society! He doesn't belong here!" Marissa winced. That wasn't true! Ryan did belong here! He had to belong here. She needed him here. Her mom was wrong...wasn't she? "I knew from the beginning that he would only hurt you!" Julie screamed in Marissa's head, taunting and gloating about how right she had been.

"No!" Marissa spoke out loud, disrupting the silence and surprising herself. She shook her head, they had been and love. She was still in love. Who was it that said "It is better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all"? That wasn't true. She would give anything to go back a year when she thought she was happy. What did it matter if she wasn't in love? At least a year ago she didn't feel so isolated from everything she cared about. She was so numb inside, yet she was still drowning in her emotion.

Marissa sat up and frantically began to search the room. She took out a bottle of vodka that had been inside her drawer. She took a big sip, and closed her eyes. Images of Ryan flashed in her head. Chrismukkah, when he had gotten so angry at her, she then spit out the drink right on her carpet. She whimpered a soft, "No." but it began to grow in loudness until she was screaming. She threw the bottle across the room. She watched it shatter on the wall, leaving a mark and soaking her carpet. She then collapsed onto the floor. She pounded on the floor, she wanted to cry so badly. She filled her images with sad pictures, she locked eyes with Ryan as he drove away in Theresa's car. She saw Ryan during all of their fights, she tried to remember exactly what Ryan said when he announced that he was leaving, but no tears came. She just continued to pound her ground, and take in the air, which was a mixture of hot sea breeze and stale liquor. She was so consumed in her tantrum, that she didn't hear her cell phone ring....


	8. former alliances

Ok, so no new reviews since last chapter....but its ok, because I'm writing them consecutively. But please, PLEASE, keep em' coming. I need them guys!!

Chapter 8

Summer screeched into Marissa's driveway. She had found it. It was interesting, the house was so huge, and it was absolutely gorgeous, but it didn't seem all that welcoming. Its like you could tell that nobody was happy in it. Summer laughed to herself, it was ironic, this was the time that they should be the happiest and closest, but they had never drifted so far apart. She actually felt nervous as she walked up to the front door. Summer rung the bell and waited for somebody to come to the door. She rang again and waited patiently. As she was waiting she glanced in the driveway, and noticed that only Marissa's car was there. Marissa was probably in her room listening to music or something. Was it ok to just walk in? It would have been...a month ago. Summer bit her lip trying to decide what to do. She had no idea how her 'best friend' was going to react if she just walked in, but the whole point of this visit was to become close again. Summer finally reached for the handle and pushed open the heavy door.

Summer was awed by the gigantic foyer. The first thing that surprised her was how dark the house was. Sure, the outside lights were on, but inside, not a single light was turned on that she could see. She began to climb the staircase and found it easy to find Marissa's room, because the light was pouring out from under the door. She knocked on Marissa's door lightly. Again, nobody answered and now Summer was very torn on whether she should just go in or not. As she stood quietly outside the door, she heard a faint whimpering from inside. She listened as a faint voice whimpered, "No!" but then the voice grew louder and soon Marissa was screaming the word "No" over and over again. Then Summer heard a loud crash on the wall, instantly, Summer was concerned about her friend, and she entered the room.

The first thing that Summer saw was the broken bottle and the water all over the wall. But it only took her a second to realize that it wasn't water, it was alcohol. Then Summer found Marissa, pounding the floor, screaming. Summer rushed over to Marissa and bent down.

"Marissa?!?"

Marissa was startled. She hadn't heard Summer come in, she covered her mouth, and didn't know what to say. What could she say to Summer? She did the only thing that she could think of, and she threw her arms around Summer's neck and hugged her tightly for a long time. Summer gripped Marissa tightly back and they hugged each other for a long time.

When the girls finally broke apart, Summer looked concerned, "Coop, how much did you drink? Are you ok?"

Marissa shook her head, "I didn't even have a sip! I'm not gonna drink anymore, I just can't. It's not what I want to do. But I don't if I'm ok or not. Are you ok?"

Now it was Summer's turn to shake her head, "No, I don't think I am. See the thing is, I miss Cohen. So much. So much that it is destroying me."

"I miss Ryan!" Marissa burst out.

The girls embraced each other once again, and they were both surprised when they noticed that they were soaked with each other's tears. As quickly as they had started to cry, they began to laugh. It was just a soft laugh at first, but as they let go of each other, and looked at each other again, they began to smile, and then giggle. Neither of them had laughed in at least three weeks. You never realize exactly how much you laugh, until the laughter stops.

Marissa wiped her eyes, "Hey, do you want to get out of here?"

Summer nodded.

"Come on, I know exactly where we can go."

The girls linked arms, their faces were stained with tears, and they were both sniffling, but they both felt the happiest they had in a month.


	9. broken promises

Not much to say....keep reviewing!

Chapter 9

Kirsten lay besides the pool, she had a magazine open, but she wasn't reading it. She starred into the water, picturing a young, scrawny boy about four, learning how to swim.

_"Ok Seth, I'm gonna let go now!"_

_"Dad! Don't leave me! I'm scared! What if something happens to me?!"_

_"Seth you'll be fine! Your father and I are right here to catch you! Now swim to me Seth!"_

_Sandy let go of the little boy, his arms near, and watched him flair about, but slowly, he reached his mother's outstretched arms!_

_"I did it!" The little boy squealed. "I swam without water wings!"_

_Sandy laughed, "Seth, now you can finally be Aquaman's sidekick!"_

_The little boy turned to his dad wide eyed, "Do you really think I could be dad?"_

_Sandy smiled at his son, "I think you can do anything Seth."_

_Kirsten hugged her son tightly, he squirmed in her arms, "Not so tight Mom! How can I be Aquaman's assistant if you squeeze my guts out of me!" Kirsten and Sandy both laughed as they took Seth by the hands and led him inside. _

Kirsten smiled to herself slightly,

"What are you thinking about?" Sandy stood leaning in the doorway, watching his wife, deep in thought.

Kirsten was startled by the sudden break of her thoughts. "Oh, nothing."

"Come on, I know it when something's on your mind."

Kirsten sighed, "Do you remember when we taught Seth how to swim?"

Sandy chuckled, "Oh yeah, couldn't get him in the pool for four years, and then in a blink of an eye, we couldn't get him out of the pool until he was ten."

Kirsten didn't say anything, "No, I mean, do you remember what we told him?"

Sandy looked at his wife, and shook his head.

"We told him," Kirsten began wiping her eyes, "That he would be fine, and that we were right there to catch him." A single tear rolled down her cheek, but she continued, "Sandy, I feel like after 13 years, were breaking our promise." With that, Kirsten began to cry. Silently at first, but she soon gave in to her sobs.

Sandy sat down next to his wife and tried to comfort her. "Honey, come on, it going to be fine."

Kirsten shook her head violently, "That's the thing Sandy! How do you know?! What right do you have to promise me that?! You don't know everything's going to be fine! He left a month ago, on a tiny catamaran! We haven't heard from him in 29 days." Kirsten tried to continue to yell at her husband, but she was lost in her emotion.

Sandy took Kirsten's chin in his hand and turned her face towards his, "Everything will be ok. I'm sure of it."

While Sandy had no idea how to back what he was saying, Kirsten seemed to be comforted anyways, she rested her head on Sandy's chest and sighed, "Why did this happen? I mean, I can losing Ryan was hard enough, but on what level did Seth think we could handle this?"

"Oh honey," Sandy smiled, "We both know that Seth doesn't think we can handle anything."

Kirsten laughed and hit Sandy in the stomach. "Oh my God Sandy, look who it is!"

(.....I know, it seems like a weird place to end the chapter, but you'll see.)


	10. reminiscing

Chapter 10

Marissa pulled her SUV into the driveway, "Ok, were here!"

Summer bit her lip, "This is where were going?"

The girls were parked in the driveway of the Cooper household, (not to be confused with the much less happy Nichol household.)

"Yeah," Marissa confirmed, "I mean I think we both need to be home right now, and where's a better place to feel home, than at home? Plus, Sum, you spent more time at my house growing up than you did at your own house. Hell, you spent more time at my house growing up than I did!"

Summer laughed, "Yeah, I guess I did. But Coop, doesn't somebody live here?"

Marissa shook her head, "I talked to Sandy at the wedding, he said the couple that live here only come during the winter."

Summer sighed, "But how are we going to get in?"

Marissa smiled, "I broke the latch on my window when Ryan and I started dating."

Now it was Summer's turn to smile, "I was wondering how you guys spent so much time together!"

Marissa was silent for a moment, lost in new thoughts of Ryan.

Summer noticed the far off look in Marissa's eyes, "Come on, lets go!" She said pulling on Marissa's arm.

The girls crept around to the back of the house, they ducked in between the bushes, to get underneath Marissa's window.

"Great Coop, how are we going to get up there?"

"I don't know, how did Ryan get up here so many times?" Marissa thought for a minute, "Oh yeah! Here help me lift this rock." The girls slowly lifted a heavy rock onto another flat rock. The rock on top teetered and Summer looked doubtful. "Um, I'm not so sure that that looks safe."

"Yeah, me neither" Marissa agreed, "That's why you're going to go first!"

"What? Why me?" Summer hit Marissa in the stomach.

Marissa laughed, "Summer, I'm taller, I'll give you a boost and then when I'm standing on the rock you can help pull me up!"

Summer sighed, "fine fine, but you owe me."

Marissa smiled and she stood on the bottom rock and clasped her hands together so that Summer could get a foothold. Summer grunted as she stood on Marissa's hand and reached for the window. When she finally got a hold of the window sill, she pulled her self in. Marissa heard a giant, THUD as Summer hit the floor of Marissa's room.

"Sum?! Are you ok?" Marissa waited for an answer she finally heard a soft whimper, "Ow," and then a louder, "I hate you Coop!" Marissa smiled, "Oh yeah," she said softly, "You're fine."

Marissa stood on the second rock and reached for the window sill. She could just barely touch it, but she felt two hands grab her forearms and pull her upwards. As she got a better grip she pulled herself through the window and tumbled to the floor. Like Summer, she crashed against the floor and muttered in pain. She and Summer began to laugh at themselves. Marissa's laughter stopped abruptly as she opened her eyes and looked around the room. The pink walls in her room didn't seem as tall as they had before.

"God, this room seems so much smaller!" Marissa sighed.

"Isn't it supposed to be the other way around?" Summer asked as she looked around.

"Maybe, but it definitely seems smaller."

"Oh my God Summer, do you remember this?" Marissa rushed to one of the walls and pointed to a knick.

"Oh my God Coop! Is that from...wait, what is that from again?"

"Remember?! It was sixth grade and Holly was having a birthday party, but I couldn't go because I had the chicken pox. You came over to see if you could borrow something to wear, and I told you that I liked Luke, but at Holly's birthday party you kissed him during a game of spin the bottle! Then Holly called me and told me.."

"And when I came over you threw an alarm clock at me!" Summer exclaimed.

Marissa nodded and smiled, "But the next day you came over with Luke and explained that it was a game and then Luke asked me out."

Summer started laughing, "I can't believe I forgot that! How come I've never seen it since then?!"

Marissa smiled, "After Luke asked me out, I hung a picture of you and me over the hole. God Summer, we've been through everything together, what happened this summer?"

Summer shook her head, "We fell in love, and love kicked our ass."

Marissa nodded her head slowly and slid down the wall into a sitting position, "Yeah, but what happened to us? I mean I needed you this summer!"

Summer paused, "When I got that letter from Seth, at first I blamed Ryan, because if Ryan hadn't have left, than Seth wouldn't have. Then I just kept thinking about what Cohen said in the Lobster shack. He said that if it hadn't been for Oliver than you and Ryan would never have broken up, and Ryan wouldn't have slept with Theresa. Coop, I know it was absolutely horrible of me, but for about a week, I was actually mad at you."

Marissa sighed deeply, maybe Seth and Summer were right, if she had just believed Ryan about Oliver, none of this would have happened! "I'm so sorry Summer,"

Summer moved towards Marissa and put her arm around her, "Hey, you don't have to be sorry for anything! After a week, I realized how wrong I was to be angry at you, and I just wanted to blame somebody, because if I had nobody to blame, then I couldn't understand why Cohen left!"

Marissa smiled, "So what happened? Why didn't you come see me then?"

Summer bit her lip, "well then I felt guilty for blaming you and I started hanging out with Holly again. God, I forgot what a bitch she is!"

Marissa laughed, "Come on Sum, lets go outside."

The girls realized that getting out of the room was a lot easier than getting into it. Once they were safely on the ground, they wandered around to the backyard. The girls were just beginning to talk, when Summer grabbed Marissa's arm and whispered, "Oh my God Coop, look, its Sandy and Kirsten!"

Marissa was startled, "Summer, what should we do? I want to talk to them! Do you think they'd be mad?"

Summer bit her lip, "I don't think so, but how do we approach them?"

Before the girls had time to plan, Kirsten spotted them. "Oh girls! Come over here!" She got up from the ground and went to greet them. To Summer and Marissa's surprise, Kirsten hugged both the girls at once tightly. "We've missed you girls so much!" Kirsten whispered. "I never even realized how much I liked having you girls over! But this summer, I finally did realize, and I missed both of you so much!" Marissa and Summer both smiled and hugged Kirsten back. "We miss being around here too." They murmured. Kirsten motioned for the girls to come sit, "Won't you girls come and join Sandy and me? Were just reminiscing." The girls eagerly nodded and followed Kirsten to the pool side.


	11. revalation

Sorry I haven't been updating as much. School's gotten pretty hectic. I'll try and do better. Thanks for all of the reviews!

Chapter 11

The ocean was his punishment, the ocean was his prize. For once in his life he was able to enjoy the solitude without being ridiculed, but for the first time, he was wanted accompaniment. Seth rolled his head back and forth, mirroring the swaying of the boat. He didn't exactly know where he was today, but he didn't care as much as he had a week ago. Tahiti didn't seem to hold as much promise as it had as he left that morning. That morning...Seth closed his eyes tighter, he wanted to squeeze the memories out of his head, but he always wanted to remember that morning always. What was going through his head as he wrote that letter to Summer? Why was Newport so awful again? I mean sure, a year ago Tahiti would have been heaven. Seth concentrated, he needed to remember the reason he wanted to escape. Lets see, ok, there was the obvious, Ryan left, and that totally sucked, but how was this helping him heal again? Summer and him were amazingly happy. The happiest he'd ever been! Happier than he could have imagined, even when he lusted over her. Seth never felt as complete as did when he and Summer were together. He didn't even know how much of a part of him that he was until they broke up. Seth laughed to himself, "I can't believe she broke up with me because of her dad!" Just then, an all too familiar song started playing on Seth's IPOD. As Jeff Buckley's "Hallelujah" began it's serenade, Seth's mind filled with memories of the model home. Specifically, he saw himself and Sandy in the car, searching for Ryan.

_"Promise me that you will never run away, no matter how bad things seem." Sandy voice continued to grow inside of Seth's head. "You're mother and I will always be there." Seth cringed as he heard himself say, "ok Dad, take it down a notch." Sandy's voice now boomed, "The minute that you were born, I knew I would never take another easy breath again, without knowing that you are safe. I'm warning you, you run away, I'm coming with you."_

Seth shook his head. "I'm sorry." He whispered to himself. "I'm so sorry Dad. After a year, I've broken my promise to you, and I'm so sorry."

As the song ended Seth took a deep breath and took his headphones off. He absent mindedly reached into his cooler expecting to find a nice, warm, ordered in dinner, like at home. Instead, he found fish. Always fish. He didn't even like fish. What was he thinking?? He didn't belong out here. This wasn't home. As much as he hated Newport sometimes, he realized, that it was his home. As Seth quickly switched the sail to the opposite direction and started sailing back, he realized that this trip was worth it. He knew where he belonged now. He belonged with Summer.


	12. laughter

Thanks for reviewing you guys!

Chapter 12

Ryan wiped the sweat off his forehead and grunted as he dug his shovel in the ground again. It was getting dark, and he'd been working since the sunrise. Construction wasn't a glamorous job, but it got food on the table every night. He sighed, he hated this. He hated the monotony of every day. He hated his cigar smoking boss. His coworkers were ok, but they all had their own issues to deal with. As he dug himself deeper into a hole, (literally) he began to wonder why he ever let Theresa talk him into this. She had said that it would be a perfect job for him, because he was so used to physical labor. As Ryan lifted a pile of dirt and rocks with his shovel he saw a black SUV fly past him. He stood stunned, "Oh my God, was that Marissa?" Ryan asked himself. Then, he shook his head, "Of course it wasn't, Marissa's in Newport, why would she ever be in Chino?" Ryan continued his work until suddenly he stopped again, "Maybe she's looking for me!" He thought to himself. "Idiot," he whispered, "Do you have any idea how many black SUVs there are in California?" He once again, continued to work, but only to stop himself again. "But what if it was her? What if she is looking for you?!" Ryan then reached into his pocket. He took out the picture of Marissa and starred at her. Even though he knew that it wasn't Marissa, he had to call her. He had to know. If it was her and she was looking for him, he would never forgive himself for not calling. He dug into his pocket, pulled out his cell phone, and dialed the number for the second time that day. This call was very much like his first, every ring he got more and more nervous. After the third ring, he heard a click, and then, something he wasn't expecting to hear. He heard her laughing. He heard Marissa's beautiful laugh, and then he heard her say, "Ok Summer, whatever." Then, Marissa asked, "Hello?" Ryan was stunned. He could have dealt with her crying, he could have dealt with her being angry, but laughing? Marissa was happy. Ryan couldn't believe what an idiot he had been. He thought that she had been looking for him. Marissa wasn't waiting, she wasn't pining. She was actually happy without him. "Hello?" Marissa asked again. Ryan swallowed and closed the phone, and slowly began to walk to his car to go home. Why did she have to be laughing?


	13. strange numbers

As always, thank you for reviewing!

Chapter 13

Marissa and Summer sat on the edge of the Cohen's pool, their feet dangling in the water. Most of the time, the girls didn't know what to say, but it felt really good to be with Sandy and Kirsten. They were the only other people who knew what the girls were going through. Sandy and Kirsten lost both of their boys in one summer, and they were hurting inside as well.

Sandy cleared his throat, "So girls, how are you, really?"

Marissa and Summer glanced at each other and smiled, "We've both been a lot better," Summer admitted.

"I'm doing alright, I mean, at least I know exactly why Ryan left. I can't imagine what you guys must be going through!"

Kirsten sighed, "Was Newport really that bad for him girls? I mean, I wasn't at his school, should we have moved back to Berkeley when we had the chance?"

Summer instantly shook her head, "No!" she exclaimed.

Sandy smirked and Kirsten tried to hide a giggle. Summer turned a little red and swallowed, "What I mean is, I really thought Seth was happy. I know that I was." Summer sighed, and looked down, "but I guess it was Ryan that made Seth feel at home, not me."

Marissa put her arm around her friend, "Sum, you know that's not true. Seth pined for you for ten years before you guys started dating, and he was never happier!"

"Then why did he leave?" Summer asked, really wanting an answer.

Silence embedded the four sitting by the pool, Sandy eventually spoke up, "Summer, I know how happy my son was with you, and I'm sure that he never intended for you to be so wounded. I know that he'll want this relationship when he gets back. We both know that all he's thinking about right now is you."

"Yeah," Marissa chimed in, "You guys have way more of a chance to work things out than me and Ryan!"

Summer rolled her eyes, "That's not saying much Coop, Chino is having a baby with his ex-girlfriend!" Marissa's eyes opened wide, and she looked shocked. Sandy and Kirsten grew quiet.

"Oh my God Coop, I'm so sorry!" Summer covered her mouth with her hands, "I didn't mean to say that! It just slipped out."

To everybody's surprise, Marissa began to smile. She hit Summer forcefully on the head.

"Ow! At least mine was an accident!"

The girls began to laugh, and then Marissa began to feel her pocket vibrate. She pulled out her phone, still laughing. Summer stood being dramatic and rubbing her face, moaning slightly. Marissa rolled her eyes, and between her laughs, she said, "Whatever Summer." Marissa cleared her throat, "hello?" Marissa didn't hear an answer, but she didn't hear the click of a receiver either. She asked again, "Hello?" still no answer, but then she heard the click of a phone and then a familiar dial tone. "Hmm, that's weird, can I just go inside for a minute and check something?"

"Of course honey! Do you need anything?"

Marissa shook her head and smiled. As she headed inside, Summer stuttered, "Um, I have to go to the bathroom. Can I-"

Kirsten smiled knowingly, realizing that Summer wanted to be with her friend. Kirsten nodded again, and the girls headed inside together.

"What was that about?" asked Sandy turning to his wife.

"Just be glad you don't a daughter honey." Kirsten smiled and rested her head on Sandy's shoulder.

Inside, Marissa opened her phone and looked at the number, "It's a 507 number. Who has a 507 number?"

Summer shrugged as she reached for some popcorn that was on the table. "It's probably a cell phone or something."

Marissa nodded, "Yeah, just wait one second, I'm just going to check my messages." Marissa was surprised to hear the familiar voice, "You have one missed call." Marissa looked at the number. She was shocked to see that it was the same number that had just called. "Huh, that's weird."

Summer looked up from a magazine, "What's weird?"

"This person called me earlier, but they didn't leave a message."

"They probably have the wrong number."

"Yeah, should I just let them keep calling?"

"Why don't you call them, and just see what number they're trying to call." Summer went back to reading her magazine.

Marissa sighed, how awkward was this going to be? She picked up her phone and dialed the number. She waited as it rang three times. Finally, somebody picked up. "Hello?" a female asked into the receiver.

"Hi, Um, somebody from this number has been calling my cell phone, but I don't know this number, so I was just wondering if it was a mistake, or if they were just looking for somebody else."

There was silence on the other end of the phone, "Hello?" she asked, making sure the person hadn't hung up.

"Yeah." The other girl answered, letting Marissa know that she was there. She heard heavy breathing on the other end of the phone and another pause. "Marissa?" asked the girl.

Marissa was stunned, "Yeah, um, who is this?" Just then, Marissa made the connection, "Oh my God, Theresa?"

Summer's head shot up from her magazine, wide eyed.

"Yeah," Theresa answered.

"Oh, well, this is a little weird, did you need something?" Marissa asked, what could Theresa want?

Again there was a pause on the other line, "No, this is Ryan's phone."

Marissa put her hand to her mouth.

"What's going on?" Summer begged.

Marissa was shocked, she didn't know what to say! Without thinking it through, she shut her phone. She just needed time to work this out.

"Well?" Summer asked once Marissa was off the phone.

"Ryan's been trying to call me." Marissa answered, with a slight smile beginning to show.


	14. the truth

Loving the reviews guys. A. I just want to say that I don't see Theresa as a bitch, but I just think she needs to be out of the picture. So, in this chapter, I try to make her seem ok, but it kind of makes Ryan seem bad. Just fyi.

Chapter 14

Ryan eagerly walked over to the punch out and punched out his time car. As he walked to his car, he put his phone back into his pocket. It had been a long day, and all he really wanted to do was to go home, take a shower, go to bed, and forget about Marissa. Unfortunetely for him, he wasn't able to forget about Marissa. "How could I be such an idiot?" he asked himself as he was driving. "I mean, did I expect her to be waiting for me the whole time?" In the back of his mind, Ryan answered, 'yes'. He shook his head, trying to rid himself of everything about her. "If she's happy, then I can be too." He nodded, as to reassure himself.

As he pulled into Theresa's driveway and headed inside, he smelled something cooking in the kitchen. He had forgotten how hungry he was. As he stepped inside Theresa's face lit up, "Ryan! I just finished this casserole, and I really think that it turned out ok!"

Ryan swallowed suddenly feeling not so hungry. Theresa wasn't his wife. She didn't have to cook for him. "Actually, I really just want to shower and relax tonight. I'm not too hungry. Thanks though."

Theresa looked obviously disappointed. "Oh, ok, well I'll just freeze this, we can have it another time."

Ryan nodded. He took off his outer shirt and laid it on the table, and headed for the bathroom. Just as he was turning the shower on, he heard his cell phone ring. It was probably Lou, asking him for another shift. If he was asked for another shift, then he knew he would have to take it. After all, he was the bread winner. "Can you get that?" Ryan yelled from the bathroom to Theresa.

"Sure." Theresa answered, as she went into Ryan's shirt pocket. She found the phone, right after the third ring, and carelessly flung it open. "Hello?" she asked into the receiver.

A young girl's voice answered back, "Hi, Um, somebody from this number has been calling my cell phone, but I don't know this number, so I was just wondering if it was a mistake, or if they were just looking for somebody else."

Theresa paused, she knew that voice. She swallowed, it couldn't be. Could it? Theresa shook her head, of course it could be. It was Marissa, and Ryan had been calling her.

The voice, was now waiting for an answer and asked again, "Hello?"

"Yeah." Theresa answered shortly, praying to herself that it wasn't who she thought it was. "Marissa?" Theresa asked, hoping that it was just a misunderstanding.

The voice on the line paused, "Yeah, um, who is this?"

Just then Theresa heard a short gasp on the line, "Oh my God, Theresa?"

Theresa shut her eyes tightly, "Yeah." She confirmed.

Marissa paused again, "Oh, well this is a little weird, did you need something?"

Theresa shook her head with her eyes still closed, "No, this is Ryan's phone." Immeditely after she told Marissa that, she regretted it. The truth was out, Marissa and Theresa both knew that Ryan had been trying to talk to Marissa. Theresa was expecting to hear an answer, a laugh, a shriek, a scream, anything, but instead, she heard a long pause and then the click of a receiver.

Theresa stood still. What had just happened? As she was standing, wondering what this meant, she heard the water shut off from the shower. Seconds later, Ryan appeared with wet hair and a clean wife beater. He acknowledged Theresa by nodding in her direction. He then grabbed a peach from a bowl on the counter and turned to go to the bedroom.

"Wait, Ryan." Theresa stopped him.

Ryan turned around, "What is it?"

Theresa swallowed, "Um, I just got an interesting call."

Ryan sighed, he didn't feel like playing these games with Theresa. "Oh yeah? Who from?"

Theresa rung a towel in her hands, "Well, this girl called saying that somebody from that number has been calling her, but leaving no messages."

Ryan stood still with shock. "Really?" he finally asked, "Do you know who the girl was?"

Theresa nodded, "Yeah, I do, and you do too."

Ryan closed his eyes and gulped, they were going to get into this now it seemed.

Theresa continued to shake her head, "Why Ryan?"

Ryan shrugged, "I just wanted to talk to her. I need to talk to her."

"Why?" Theresa asked angrily, "Why can't you talk to me? I mean, I make you dinner, I look after your things, I clean the house, and I don't get two words when you come home from work!"

"Well maybe it's because I don't feel like talking when I get home from a job that I hate!" Ryan spitted back.

"Why are you working there if you hate it so much?" Theresa asked, some of the anger leaving her voice.

"Because I can't afford to not have a job! This baby needs so many things Theresa!"

Theresa put her hand on Ryan's arm. "We can make this work together Ryan. I can work a few extra shifts at the bakery until you find something better."

"I don't want to make this work together." Ryan muttered, barely audible.

"What?"

"I said, I don't want to make this work together!" Ryan answered, strength growing in his voice. "I want to get the money needed for the baby, and then go home." Ryan was sorry that he was being so harsh, but he had to let Theresa know that this was temporary.

Theresa was shocked. "Ryan, this is your home. You belong with me here and with this baby!" Theresa soothed as she rubbed her belly.

Ryan shook his head, "I don't belong here! I don't even-" Ryan stopped, unable to finish the rest.

Theresa looked at Ryan, fear and anger beginning to show in her face. "You don't even what Ryan?"

"Nothing." Ryan answered quietly.

"It's not nothing. I want to know. Tell me Ryan!!" Theresa was now shouting angrily.

"I don't even love you!" Ryan shouted. Then he squeezed his eyes shut, not wanting to cause Theresa pain.

Theresa didn't answer. How could she? Her eyes began to well, but she willed herself not to show him tears. She swallowed and allowed herself to be angry, instead of sad, "You know what Ryan? Just go! You're free to leave!"

Ryan shook his head, he didn't want to leave, because then Theresa would go back to Eddie, and she and the baby would be hurt. "Theresa, stop it. This baby needs parents."

"No Ryan," Theresa began quietly, "I thought this is where you wanted to be. If it's not, then you're just going to resent me and the baby. That's not what I want for this kid. They need to be loved by everybody in their life, and if you're not going to love the baby as much as you possibly can, then I don't want you I his life." Theresa paused, watching Ryan shake his head slowly. "I mean it Ryan. I want you to go."

"Theresa, if I leave you have to promise me that you will never go back to Eddie."

Theresa smiled, "Ryan, why are you doing this? Why do you care? I know that you just want to go back to the Cohen's and Marissa. I'll get over that, but you can't pretend that you love me, and then leave me for somebody else."

Ryan looked at Theresa hard, "Theresa, I do care for you. So much you wouldn't even believe it. I also will love this baby, but I don't know if I can be a loving father. But I do know that Eddie won't be a loving father, and if he ever laid a finger on this child, then I would be here in a second. I know that, you know that."

Theresa nodded slowly, "I'm not going to go back to Eddie. I'll go to Atlanta."

Ryan nodded, "Do you have enough money."

Theresa shrugged, "If I take everything we both made this month, I think I'll have enough."

"Theresa I'm not going to let you go if you _think_ you have enough. I'll stay until the end of the summer. Ok?"

Theresa smiled, and nodded. She wiped some tears from her eyes. She was going to do this alone, and that was ok with her. "How about some dinner Ryan, I know that you're hungry."

Ryan smiled and nodded, "Yeah, starving."


End file.
